Saturday, 3 October 2009


Would it not be interesting if a soap were put on, using the CFZ as its subjects, with its little ups and downs, controversies, expeditions and verbal interactions, set in rustic Woolsery and featuring a stream of bizarre characters as they came and went? It would certainly get us in the papers more often. But which well-known actors would play whom? Here are a few suggestions.

Jonathan Downes - Stephen Fry
Richard Freeman - Patrick Stewart with additional padding
Graham - the Emu formerly belonging to Rod Hull
Oll - the ghost of Sir Harry Secombe
Lizzy - Miley Cyrus
Jon's stepdaughters - the Cheeky Girls
Tim the Yowie Man - one of the former cast of Neighbours
Man in Black watching Goings-on in Woolsery - Christopher Lee

I'm sure I could think of others if I had the time. Before anyone suggests I should be played by Graham Norton, let me say this would be thorough miscasting.